Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
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Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
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Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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