But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
