Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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