My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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