Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me

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  (403): If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me http://tfl.nu/3lvx
  Replies (25) Good night (1068) Bad night (3531)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.

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  (202): its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore. http://tfl.nu/f02f
  Replies (30) Good night (4351) Bad night (1162)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow

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  (770): i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow http://tfl.nu/owei
  Replies (102) Good night (5403) Bad night (1380)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.

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  (810): The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion. http://tfl.nu/bsvq
  Replies (15) Good night (5503) Bad night (991)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce

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  (603): Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce http://tfl.nu/x8zt
  Replies (11) Good night (3769) Bad night (1240)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.

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  (702): we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey. http://tfl.nu/4jcm
  Replies (21) Good night (1454) Bad night (2439)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was

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  (401): All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was http://tfl.nu/3k0k
  Replies (13) Good night (3491) Bad night (958)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.

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  (615): The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror. http://tfl.nu/nl5c
  Replies (5) Good night (1496) Bad night (1113)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.

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  (313): We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood. http://tfl.nu/swis
  Replies (4) Good night (757) Bad night (1598)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Too low?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Yes.

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  (224): This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd. (309): Too low? (224): Yes. http://tfl.nu/cgtr
  Replies (4) Good night (1966) Bad night (696)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?

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  (908): I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember? (610): Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead? http://tfl.nu/yv69
  Replies (13) Good night (1407) Bad night (640)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.

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  (802): Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful. http://tfl.nu/lc1g
  Replies (2) Good night (780) Bad night (485)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have tan lines from my nipple rings.

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  (267): I have tan lines from my nipple rings. http://tfl.nu/n8t0
  Replies (6) Good night (961) Bad night (421)
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  (707): View more from California

  I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.

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  (707): I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible. http://tfl.nu/8qmq
  Replies (7) Good night (1034) Bad night (383)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.

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  (413): That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet. http://tfl.nu/25ou
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (232)

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