just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half