i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.