I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands