I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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