so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
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Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
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He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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