Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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