was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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