Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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