I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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