1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
