Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize