well most of my day revolves around power hour
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
