Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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