I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
