I can text with my tongue
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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