do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
