Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
