o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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