If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
