Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
