I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
