we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I believe in your delicious
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
