1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
