Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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