Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
