apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
