Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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