I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
