She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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