If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i out mim tonsoeep
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