Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
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You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
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Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We're too hungover to prance.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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