I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
