do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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