Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
