That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize