Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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