This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
