So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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