You just made me feel so damn special
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
