If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
