Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
