ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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