She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
