then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
