The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
