I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
