Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
