So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize