he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Quick, to the slutcave!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
