It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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