just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Randomize
