were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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