He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
