I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
