just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
