Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
