So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
