Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
