I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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